11 aug MAGICAL WORDS
THE sentence ‘what if’ IS MAGIC
“How the hell can you write a blog about just two words?” Well… what if it works?
“But what is there to say about those two words?” Well … what if there is enough to say about them.
“And do you really think people are going to read a blog about those two words?” Well … what if it doesn’t matter.
“Yes, you can tell me more, but what if that’s not true?” Well…what if it is true?
Now I have already given you four examples of how quickly your thoughts go up and down and how quickly you can switch by just asking yourself, “yes, but what if…”.
The magic of the sentence ‘What if’ really dawned on me when my husband asked me, “What would you most like to do?” Then I said: “I don’t know”. To which he said, “Now what if you know the answer?” And really … very strange, then an answer popped out. So, if the sentence ‘What if’ can ensure that you have an answer to a simple question, then we can also use it for other (life) questions, right?
For a long time, I was also very good at believing my obstructing thoughts and thinking that something would not work or that I still had a long way to go before I could do this or that. Of course, I was not really happy about that. Now I know that we can talk and think ourselves down the drain, so if that works, then it will work the other way around. What if it is true? Immediately feels different right?
I can almost see you thinking… But isn’t it that simple? Well… what if it is? Boom…. Feels different, doesn’t it. Oh yeah, this is a good one too, “but hey … that’s not the intention, is it?” Well, what if it is meant to be? Or this one, “Yes … but I can’t accept that, can I?” what if you succeed, how does that feel? “Yes, but we should differently, because it has always been like this.” And if I tell you now, what if it doesn’t help you anymore and maybe you better try something else?
I have also been a great (and ever will) point the finger at the other and hold the other responsible for my (ever) unpleasant feelings. Did something change? No, nothing, nada, niente. Well, that is not entirely true, something did change, only with me. My frustration and anger gained even more power and I started to resist everything and everyone. I even put people out of my life without mercy. Tidy is neat! Or so I thought.
Until someone said to me, “Gosh, what if you have an influence on such situations, how would that feel?” I said, “me influence? I have no influence at all on those situations, believe me, I have tried that for a long time”. Then my husband said, “What if you do, just by examining certain thoughts and yourself? And now if this is so powerful that you can change an entire situation, what would it be like?” Long story short…. I was interested in this and it immediately felt like I could handle anything. This was kind of the start of my process. The journey of development, my own influence and responsibility. Just by that magical sentence…. ‘what if ‘.
You may know the quote…. “Those who think that something is not going to work and those who think it will work, are both right.” Now it is up to you which one feels best. “I never did it so I think I can do it”, is a famous quote of a kid star out of my youth. It is almost a lifestyle.
Do I mean to say that everything just works and that you can achieve everything with a certain mindset? Now I know that your mind is a very powerful weapon that can make or break us. So yes. on the one hand I do believe in that. On the other hand, I also know if we want to go for something, exert influence or change something that will require guts and perseverance. “Nothing for nothing” my parents used to say. And now, what if you already have guts and perseverance; how does that feel?
What if bears come your way and you say to yourself, “It’s okay, bears on my road are for making friends and not for beating.” Feels more relaxed right? Because yes… we all have or get bears on our way from time to time. But our resistance or fight against those bears means that it will cost us a lot of energy. And now you immediately imagine that those bears on your way serve precisely to overcome certain things. How do you look at those bears?
Because what if you resist it and say, “yes, but … those bears in my path should not be there (yet they are), they are very disturbing (resistance) that is impossible, far too much, I cannot, I can’t, I’m not ready yet ”or whatever. Seems like a very heavy feeling. And now immediately suggest that you say to yourself: “OK, those bears are there and that’s fine (acceptance), I know that they help me to progress and that it is precisely why I become stronger and can handle more. than I thought”. How does that feel?
This is exactly how it works in your family. If you think your children will benefit from driving you crazy, ruining your day or ruining your life, then you will continue to see and experience it. Your family (partner and children) will never benefit from driving you crazy, ruining your day or ruining your life. They are in favor of allowing, accepting and embracing your emotions, so that you do not reject yourself. Certain behaviours are actually meant for you to get to know and accept yourself and to love yourself unconditionally, including the difficult bits you can see in them. As a result, you will wake up and things will come to light that have been in your shadow all along, including all your love, strength, potential, guts and persistence. what if…? What if this is true?
Then the other person is not your problem, but your solution. We can continue to oppose to everything and everyone, but that costs an immense amount of energy and it yields almost nothing for you. So if you regularly use the sentence ‘ what if‘ and ask yourself what this situation is for, what it means, what you can/may learn from it and what emotion can be released, then you will – just like me – experience all that around you changes and how big your influence is.
If you ask me… the sentence ‘what if’ has become magical to me!
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